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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Gary Bettman Surprised By Popularity Of NHL Lockout

NEW YORK—As labor talks between team owners and the NHL Players’ Association enter their fifth straight week, league commissioner Gary Bettman announced Monday that he has been “blown away” by the ongoing lockout’s immense popularity. “There’s just a buzz about hockey right now that I don’t think we’ve ever seen before,” said Bettman, adding that the outpouring of support he has received for the continuing lack of NHL games has been “incredibly touching.” “We get calls every single day from people who are begging us to keep this thing going. People just can’t wait to see more regular season hockey games canceled. Frankly, this is the best thing that has ever happened to the NHL in terms of growing its appeal among sports fans.” Bettman confirmed that he hasn’t seen so much public enthusiasm about the sport since 2004, when a labor dispute forced the NHL to cancel the entire season.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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