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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Gary Kubiak Congratulates Houston Texans On Yet Another Houston Texans Season

HOUSTON—Following his team’s loss to the New England Patriots last weekend, Houston Texans coach Gary Kubiak reportedly gathered players and staff to congratulate them on engineering yet another Houston Texans season. “I know some of you are still disappointed, but no matter what, we can hold our heads high for putting together back-to-back Texans seasons,” said Kubiak, adding that after winning 11 of their first 13 games, the team’s ability to succumb to crucial injuries, totally lose momentum, and eventually bow out of the playoffs in the divisional round made it “one of the most Houston Texans seasons in franchise history.” “Things didn’t always go our way, and plenty of people doubted us, but we came together when it counted and finished with a classic Houston Texans run down the stretch. And I’m proud of each and every one of you for that.” According to team sources, Kubiak singled out quarterback Matt Schaub in particular for having the most Matt Schaub season of the nine-year veteran’s career.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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