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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Gay Alabama Couple Always Dreamed Of Getting Married Surrounded By Hostility

MOBILE, AL—Saying the memories they made today would last the rest of their lives, gay couple Jeremy Newell and Aaron Mitchum of Mobile, AL confirmed Monday that they had always dreamed of getting married surrounded by hostility. “Everyone has big expectations about their wedding day, but never in a million years could I have imagined the tremendous outpouring of anger and contempt that we received from everyone who turned out,” said Newell, adding that as the newly married same-sex couple exited the courthouse they were overwhelmed with emotion upon seeing so many familiar, spiteful faces. “It was just unbelievable that our commitment to each other brought so many people together to share their hate with us. I even got a little teary-eyed when I looked out at the crowd shouting homophobic slurs and expressing their wishes for us to burn in hell. I’ll never forget that.” At press time, the happy couple were driving away from the courthouse in their decorated wedding car at top speed.

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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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