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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Gay Teen Still Going To Buy LeBron James Jersey

LAWRENCEVILLE, NJ—After learning NBA center Jason Collins became the first active player from a major American team sport to come out as a homosexual, gay 15-year-old Kyle Morgan confirmed Monday that he still plans to buy a LeBron James Miami Heat jersey. “That’s great for Collins and all that, but have you seen LeBron this season? The guy is amazing,” said the gay teenager, noting that James will “go down as the greatest NBA player of all time when all is said and done.” “He can shoot, he can pass, he can defend every position—he can do everything. And he’s absolutely unstoppable when he’s driving to the rim. As soon as I have enough money, I’m definitely getting a Heat away jersey with ‘James’ on the back.” While Morgan confirmed that he proudly supports Collins’ decision to come out, the gay teen told reporters that James is “far and away [his] biggest role model.”

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