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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Gene Upshaw Hires Former Football Players To Rough Each Other Up

NEW YORK—Frustrated with trying to fulfill the needs of both the NFL Players' Association and retired players claiming they have been underrepresented, NFLPA Executive Director Gene Upshaw has resorted to offering several financially troubled former football players cash in exchange for making sure other former football players stop complaining to the press. "Okay, here's a grand—make sure that guy shuts his big yap about lousy pension benefits and inadequate health coverage," Upshaw reportedly told Chuck Bednarik and Joe DeLamielleure, both former NFL offensive linemen, about each other in separate conversations last week. "There's more money in it for you once I hear he's been convinced his post-concussion syndrome could be worse, see?" Upshaw refused to answer any questions regarding the strongarm practices, saying that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell would "disappear me in an eyeblink if I sang."

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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