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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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General Mills Releases New Lucky Charms With 15 Percent Less Leprechaun Meat

MINNEAPOLIS—Saying that Lucky Charms is “as magically delicious as ever but now lower in magically saturated fats,” General Mills announced Friday it would begin making the cereal with 15 percent less leprechaun meat. “Lucky Charms will still have the same great taste and marshmallowy goodness, but now only the tastiest, leanest parts of the leprechaun will be used,” a press release read in part, noting that the Lucky Charms recipe had not changed since 1964, when leprechaun meat was first added as an emulsifier. “As always, we use only natural colorings and flavorings in our cereals, which is why you may still sometimes find a wee hat in your bowl.” The announcement comes only weeks after General Mills discontinued the use of ground rhinoceros in Wheaties.

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