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Generous Improv Troupe Performing For Free

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Generous Improv Troupe Performing For Free

NEW YORK—In a commendable act of charity and goodwill, local improv troupe Calhoun reportedly showcased their talents completely free of charge Sunday night in the basement of a local performing arts space. “What do you mean you’re a dog?” Calhoun’s Nick Clewson said to his barking co-star Daryl Crane during a show the group could easily have charged a $20 admission to but, in a gesture of magnanimity, chose to offer to the public at no cost, as they do every week. “Well, luckily, I speak fluent dog. Ruff, ruff, ruff! That means, ‘Freeze! You’re under arrest.’” Following the performance, group members extended their generosity further by voluntarily folding the audience’s metal chairs and stacking them in a storage room.

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