PASADENA, CA—A grotesque and unsettling genetic experiment in which human corneal tissue was grown on the backs of naked mole rats has gone horribly, horribly right, sickened Caltech scientists announced Monday. "Never in our worst nightmares could we have foreseen the appalling success of this advantageous abomination," head researcher Dr. Trevor Keller said of the phenomenal medical breakthrough, which could potentially treat those suffering from congenital blindness. "Oh the humanity! The benefit to humanity!" Keller said that mankind's only hope is for his team to continue their research.