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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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George Clooney Enjoys Another Rousing Evening At Home With Mummified Members Of Rat Pack

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Turning up the volume on his record player while wearing his best sharkskin suit, George Clooney reportedly spent another evening at home Thursday with the mummified members of the Rat Pack. “Hey, Frankie, how about you tell that story about the hostess from the Sands and I pour us some more gasoline—three fingers on the rocks, right?” said Clooney, who, after distributing the drinks and clearing everyone’s plates, reportedly grabbed the chemically preserved corpses of Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr., dabbed the beads of embalming fluid running down their cheeks, and propped them up on the bar stools in his billiard room. “Rack ’em up, Dino! Man, I’m glad we still make time to get together for things like this. Say, Peter, what do you say we get some girls over here and make a real night of it?” According to sources, the evening came to an abrupt end after Joey Bishop’s deteriorating arm fell off following prolonged exposure to the air in Clooney’s walk-in humidor.

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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