adBlockCheck

George Steinbrenner Tells Sons To Mellow Out

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

George Steinbrenner Tells Sons To Mellow Out

NEW YORK—Following the latest in a series of animated outbursts by Yankee co-chairman Hank Steinbrenner, a tirade in which he said that "only an idiot" would not start Joba Chamberlain, comparatively laid-back Yankee owner George Steinbrenner advised his sons to "calm down" and "not make any rash decisions." "It's just a game," Steinbrenner said in a statement released by his spokesman Howard Rubenstein. "Honestly, who cares if the Yankees lose a couple? It's not the end of the world. As long as everyone is having fun...that's the important thing." Steinbrenner added that he is no longer requiring the Yankees to win the World Series, but that if they are eliminated in the ALDS, Joe Girardi will be out of a job and Brian Cashman will be executed before a firing squad.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close