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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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George W. Bush Forgets To Mention 9/11 In Memoir

WASHINGTON—While his new book details tense relationships within his administration and admits mistakes were made in the execution of the Iraq War, former president George W. Bush totally blanked on the 9/11 terrorist attacks while writing his memoir Decision Points. "He ends one chapter on what seems like a telling note, saying he felt nothing significant had happened in his first six months in office, but then the next chapter begins, 'It was almost Thanksgiving, and my approval rating was sky-high,'" reviewer Glen Harwell wrote Thursday, noting that Bush's account of the 2001 presidential turkey-pardoning dominates the next 3,000 words of the book. "It appears he just plain forgot to mention what many would call the defining moment of his presidency." Bush has already received criticism for claiming in the memoir that the worst moment of his years in the White House came when entertainer Kanye West sharply criticized him "over issues I cannot even recall at this time."

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