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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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George W. Bush Forgets To Mention 9/11 In Memoir

WASHINGTON—While his new book details tense relationships within his administration and admits mistakes were made in the execution of the Iraq War, former president George W. Bush totally blanked on the 9/11 terrorist attacks while writing his memoir Decision Points. "He ends one chapter on what seems like a telling note, saying he felt nothing significant had happened in his first six months in office, but then the next chapter begins, 'It was almost Thanksgiving, and my approval rating was sky-high,'" reviewer Glen Harwell wrote Thursday, noting that Bush's account of the 2001 presidential turkey-pardoning dominates the next 3,000 words of the book. "It appears he just plain forgot to mention what many would call the defining moment of his presidency." Bush has already received criticism for claiming in the memoir that the worst moment of his years in the White House came when entertainer Kanye West sharply criticized him "over issues I cannot even recall at this time."

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