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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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George W. Bush Having Trouble Finding Decent Cocaine Since Leaving White House

CRAWFORD, TX—Citing his dramatically reduced level of influence and his separation from old acquaintances in Washington, former president George W. Bush complained Monday that he has had trouble finding decent cocaine since leaving office in 2009. “I had some real good hookups in D.C., but the shit down here is just terrible,” Bush said from his ranch in Crawford, TX, noting that while he could previously count on the White House kitchen staff or top aides for the good stuff, he now has to drive half an hour to Waco and waste his money on “junk cut with Benzo.” “I just don’t get as high, you know? Sucks, because I could really use some good coke right now. It’s commencement season, and God knows how many speeches I’m gonna have to get through.” Bush added that while he’s disappointed with the powder in Texas, he has to admit the whiskey and pot are “fantastic.”

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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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