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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Gerald Green Incorporates Christopher Marlowe's 'Doctor Faustus' Into Slam Dunk

HOUSTON—While competing in the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest Saturday, contestant Gerald Green reportedly incorporated characters, dialogue, and set design from 16th-century English playwright Christopher Marlowe’s The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus into his elaborately choreographed dunk routine. “Lo, Mephistophilis, for love of thee/Faustus hath cut his arm, and with his proper blood/Assures his soul to be great Lucifer’s/ Chief lord and regent of perpetual night!” proclaimed the spotlighted and costumed Indiana Pacers small forward before catching a full-court lob from the demon Mephisto—played by devilishly attired teammate Lance Stephenson—and driving to the hole. “View here this blood that trickles from mine arm/ And let it be propitious for my wish.” Upon completing the 10-minute-long scene in which the Elizabethan drama’s titular character exchanges his soul for Satan’s corrupt bounty, Green dribbled between his legs, scrawled his name in Lucifer’s black book, and launched toward the hoop from the free-throw line, whereupon the basketball clanged off the rim, forcing the 2007 dunk contest winner and his fellow castmates to return to half court and start the intricate routine from the beginning.

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