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Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Get To Know The OSN Girlfriend Analysts

Brenda Kenyon
-Boyfriend: Dominick Mirk
-Length of Relationship: 1 year, 10 months
-How Do You Feel About Sports: "They really are tremendous athletes, and I love how they play hard. I LOVE going to a game, drinking a beer and eating some nachos and being all sportsy! They're paid way too much but no more than movie stars or magicians. I don't really like baseball, it's way too slow and boring."

Lisa Cantrell
-Boyfriend: Evan Jackson
-Length of Relationship: 4 months
-How Do You Feel About Sports: "Honestly, I don't have much time for sports, though I do pay attention to all the lockout news, since I'm specializing in labor law and stuff. I think they hit each other TOO HARD and they should take it easy out there. I once told Evan that they should just build robots to play football and hit each other, but he said that was silly and no one would want to watch it. But I would watch it."

Vicky Houle
-Boyfriend: Edgar Weaver
-Length of Relationship: 3 years, 8 months
-How Do You Feel About Sports: "I don't think they're a total waste of time or anything, but I can think of about a million things I'd rather do. Taking a walk, traveling. I like watching track though, there's something very pure about just watching men and women run as fast as they can with no arbitrary rules about bouncing a ball or 'offsides'. I do prefer reading though and everyone should make time to read a book, especially Edgar."

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