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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Get To Know The OSN Girlfriend Analysts

Brenda Kenyon
-Boyfriend: Dominick Mirk
-Length of Relationship: 1 year, 10 months
-How Do You Feel About Sports: "They really are tremendous athletes, and I love how they play hard. I LOVE going to a game, drinking a beer and eating some nachos and being all sportsy! They're paid way too much but no more than movie stars or magicians. I don't really like baseball, it's way too slow and boring."

Lisa Cantrell
-Boyfriend: Evan Jackson
-Length of Relationship: 4 months
-How Do You Feel About Sports: "Honestly, I don't have much time for sports, though I do pay attention to all the lockout news, since I'm specializing in labor law and stuff. I think they hit each other TOO HARD and they should take it easy out there. I once told Evan that they should just build robots to play football and hit each other, but he said that was silly and no one would want to watch it. But I would watch it."

Vicky Houle
-Boyfriend: Edgar Weaver
-Length of Relationship: 3 years, 8 months
-How Do You Feel About Sports: "I don't think they're a total waste of time or anything, but I can think of about a million things I'd rather do. Taking a walk, traveling. I like watching track though, there's something very pure about just watching men and women run as fast as they can with no arbitrary rules about bouncing a ball or 'offsides'. I do prefer reading though and everyone should make time to read a book, especially Edgar."

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