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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Getting Everyone Together

It can be hard to organize a large group and reach a consensus on where to go. Here are some ways to make it easier:

  • Take turns: One week the group goes to your favorite sports bar, the next week to your friend's favorite sports bar.
  • Try to pick a location that is accessible for all of your friends, but inaccessible for all of your enemies.
  • Why not try an Evite? Because they're fucking obnoxious and no one ever reads them, that's why.
  • Don't always let the bowler in the group have his way.
  • Make sure you don’t go to the place that burned down last week. They may be looking for you.
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