Ghost Of Brando Urges Man To Finish Whole Cheesecake

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Vol 42 Issue 04

Hamas Victorious

Following Sharon's replacement and the recent political victory for Hamas, the future of the Middle East looks more uncertain than ever. What do you think?

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Yao Ming Living Up To Height Expectations

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Ghost Of Brando Urges Man To Finish Whole Cheesecake

MASON CITY, IA—The ghostly shade of Marlon Brando appeared before Carl Wilkins Sunday to urge the 36-year-old auto-body technician to devour an entire two-pound cheesecake. "He was really intense, rubbing his head and jutting out his jaw and saying, over and over, 'Finish it off,'" said a slightly shaken and dyspeptic Wilkins. "I'd forgotten how good Brando could be." After Wilkins swallowed his last bite, the apparition smiled with an orange slice in its mouth and disappeared.
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