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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Ghost Of Carl Sagan Warns Against Dangers Of Superstition

ITHACA, NY—Appearing as a hovering, wraith-like vision above the Cornell University Physics Building where he taught for years, the ghost of recently deceased astronomer/author Carl Sagan warned former colleagues Monday against a belief in superstition. "Exercise skepticism!" Sagan said, clanking a large metal chain. "Whenever possible, there must be independent confirmation of all facts pertaining to any so-called 'magical' or 'mystical' event or phenomenon!" Added Sagan: "One should always encourage vigorous debate on the nature of rational inquiry and empirical evidence. A thinking person must always utilize the scientific method, or wear the chains of superstition throughout eternity!" Cornell physics department head Arthur Ludyvik said that he would heed Sagan's warning and buy a special anti-superstition crystal amulet and incense cone.

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