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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Giants Inform Titans They Can Hear Post-Game Comments From Other Room

NASHVILLE—According to multiple sources, New York Giants running back Tiki Barber walked over to the Titans locker room and informed a celebrating Tennessee squad that his team could hear "everything" the Titans were saying about the Giants' poor performance following their 24-21 loss. "Listen, it's just not very sportsmanlike to call our quarterback a 'choke artist' and our entire team 'an overpaid bunch of losers,'" Barber said to the Titans, who fell completely silent when Barber first entered the room. "Is this what you guys are about? Kicking a team when they're down? Kind of takes away from all that 'good game' crap and hugging we just did on the field, doesn't it? You should all be ashamed of yourselves." While Barber was delivering his speech, the entire Tennessee squad reportedly failed to suppress laughter, forcing Barber to tell them several times that he was serious and didn't know what was so funny.

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