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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Girardi Unsure If CC Sabathia Can Walk Out To Mound On 3 Days' Rest

NEW YORK—Yankees manager Joe Girardi admitted to reporters Wednesday that he still had doubts that starter CC Sabathia could muster the energy and strength to endure walking to the mound on just three days' rest. "I'm fairly sure he can make it about halfway to the mound, but he's going to be exhausted," said Girardi, expressing concerns about the wear and tear on his ace pitcher's body. "Usually he only makes it without collapsing on four days' rest, but this is the ALCS, so he might just have to gut it out. Either way, we are going to keep a close eye on his step count." Girardi said he planned to have Sabathia conserve energy by sitting down between pitches, and intended to have seven or eight players carry the 2007 Cy Young winner into the dugout after each inning.

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