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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Girlfriend, Girlfriend’s Brother Look Way Too Much Alike

OLYMPIA, WA—Taken aback after meeting his girlfriend’s older brother for the first time last night, local man Elliot Mast confirmed to reporters that the siblings look far too much alike. “As soon as he walked into our apartment, I was completely stunned,” said a still unsettled Mast, 32, adding that, aside from the difference in hairstyle and a few inches in height, the two were pretty much identical. “The eyes, the nose, their posture—it’s the exact same. They even smile the same way. God, it’s weird.” At press time, Mast was hesitating to return his girlfriend’s physical advances, as the mental image of her brother’s face was still way too fresh.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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