Girlfriend Just Wants To Have Low-Key, Laid-Back Valentine's Day Fight This Year

Top Headlines

Recent News

Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?

Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Sleep

Good Times

Girlfriend Just Wants To Have Low-Key, Laid-Back Valentine's Day Fight This Year

BEREA, KY—Saying that she didn’t want to go all out and turn the evening into a “big huge thing,” area woman Caitlin Omstead announced Wednesday that she would prefer to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year with a nice, low-key fight at home with her boyfriend. “The past three years we’ve gotten all dressed up and had these huge arguments out on the town, so this year I feel like just staying in and having a laid-back quarrel at the apartment,” Omstead reportedly told friends, adding that she wouldn’t mind curling up on the couch with a movie only one person likes and bickering about money, household duties, or the car. “Plus, Valentine’s Day is on a Thursday this year, so it’ll be hard to get reservations someplace where we can viciously argue about vacation planning under our breath.” At press time, Omstead’s boyfriend said he didn’t care where they went to squabble as long as they had bitter, resentment-fueled intercourse afterwards.