adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
End Of Section
  • More News

Girlfriend Wants To Leave Game Now

BOSTON—According to eyewitness reports, Jennifer Holleman, 25, wants to leave the game now despite the difficulty and expense of obtaining tickets, the strong playoff implications of the contest, and the fact that the final result of the hotly contested tie game is still in doubt. "Are you still watching this? Or can we leave soon?" Holleman asked boyfriend Ian Pickett, who had been looking forward to the game for weeks and had in fact initially invited his best friend before finally being coerced by Holleman to bring her instead. "Let's go watch a movie or something. Or I could call Liz and Michelle and meet up at a bar that's playing the game there.Then you could still watch the end of the game. We've been here for an hour already and no one's even winning." Earlier in the evening, Pickett had missed the only scoring of the once-in-a-lifetime sporting epic while waiting in line at the gift shop to purchase a pink version of the home team's hat.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close