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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Glorious Heyday Of Youth Spent In Parking Lot

AMARILLO, TX–Celebrating the bountiful gift of youth and the endless promise it holds, local 16-year-olds Stephanie Reardon, Doug Shiner and Toby Rizzo spent Friday evening in the parking lot of the Howell Avenue Grab 'N' Go convenience store. "Got any more Kools?" said Reardon, living every moment of her salad days to the fullest. Savoring the sweetness of his vitality like a ripe, juicy pear, Shiner leaned against the store's ice machine and said, "Check out that van over there."

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