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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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God Admits He Was In Pretty Bad Place While Creating Universe

THE HEAVENS—Saying He was dealing with a lot of stuff at the time, God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, admitted to reporters Monday that He was in a pretty bad place when He created the universe. “To be honest, it’s kind of hard for me to look at these days—it just brings me back to a real difficult time,” said the Lord, explaining that while He was physically commanding the heavens and the earth to come into being back then, mentally He was “a total wreck.” “Quite often, I’ll come across some aspect of the universe and just think to myself, ‘Wow, I put some pretty dark stuff in there.’ Sure, I like what I did with light and some of the animals, but boy, on the whole, I think I may have been a little too emotional when I made this thing.” God added that He was considering just getting rid of the whole thing to get it off His mind.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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