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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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God Announces Plans To Shift Majority Of Resources Tied Up In Humanity Project To Birds, Rocks

THE HEAVENS—Telling reporters it would be a more worthwhile enterprise in the long run, God, Our Lord And Heavenly Father, announced plans Monday to shift the majority of the resources tied up in His humanity project to birds and rocks. “I feel like I’ve kind of hit a wall with humanity and this is probably as far as it can go, but I have some exciting new ideas for rocks and birds that I’m really looking forward to exploring,” said The Creator of All Things, adding that He felt human beings had “pretty much run their course” at this point before explaining His intention to give promising rocks such as sandstone and gneiss the consideration they deserve and finally furnish birds with the longer beaks He previously did not have the opportunity to bring into being. “At this point, it makes more sense to devote my time and energy to developing a fourth classification of rock beyond igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary, or maybe a bird with big tentacles, because humanity really isn’t worth any further investment. It would simply be wasteful to dedicate additional effort to humans when rocks and birds have so much more promise.” God went on to say that His job was already immensely more satisfying now that He was working on what He was actually passionate about.

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