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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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God Wondering If He's Being Too Cruel In Allowing Cavaliers To Reach NBA Finals

PARADISE—God, the omnipotent and omniscient Creator of the Universe who recently saw fit to allow the Cleveland Cavaliers to advance to the NBA Finals, expressed concern Tuesday that He might be causing the earthly city of Cleveland undue emotional anguish by doing so. "I can't help feeling that they who dwell in Cleveland and root for the Cavaliers have done nothing to warrant the dashing of their hopes after having them raised to such lofty heights," said God, who acknowledged that day-to-day life was bitter enough for city residents. "Although I move in mysterious ways, and in doing so often allow bad things to happen to good people, My grand design is usually glorious to behold. But the Cavs in the Finals…I don't know, maybe that's just plain mean." God is said to be particularly sensitive to looming tragedies in Cleveland recently, as the Indians have been playing better than expected, earthquake-level tension began building in a previously undetected geological slip-fault in the bedrock along the shores of Lake Erie, and the Browns drafted quarterback Brady Quinn.

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