Goddamn Findings Fail To Support Researcher's Hypothesis

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Vol 42 Issue 14

First 9/11 Film Coming

United 93, a film about the hijacked United flight that crashed in a Pennsylvania field on Sept. 11, 2001, will make its debut at the Tribeca...

First Brazilian In Space

Lt. Col. Marcos Pontes, the first Brazilian astronaut, is due to return from his brief mission tomorrow. What do you think?
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Goddamn Findings Fail To Support Researcher's Hypothesis

LANCASTER, CA—Test data on superconductivity in aligned-crystal bismuth-mercury ceramics failed to support physicist Charles Antonini's carefully-fucking-conceived hypothesis, he told the journal Nature yesterday. "It seems the goddamn math is correct, so I obviously must not have taken other motherfucking factors into account," said Antonini, who had dedicated the past nine years of his life to "solving the cunt of an obstacle to miniature supercomputers." An unexpurgated account of Antonini's studies in cryomatrix crystallography will be published in the journal Cock-Sucking Science.
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