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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
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Going-Out-Of-Business Sign Thanks Neighborhood For 3 Months Of No Support Whatsoever

INDIANAPOLIS—Shuttering its doors after an unprofitable 12 weeks in business, local coffee shop Crossroads Café offered a heartfelt goodbye to the community this week with a large going-out-of-business sign thanking residents for their total lack of support. “Although we’re sad to be leaving, the whole team at Crossroads Café owes a huge debt of gratitude to our customers for only peeking in, ignoring our daily fresh baked goods, not showing up to any of our live events, and just generally being uncaring pricks,” read the emphatic, hand-lettered poster prominently displayed in the window of the now-defunct storefront. “Having to make rent and payroll with barely $100 in sales is an experience we’ll never forget. We feel so fortunate that even for three short months we had the chance to serve such a cheap, disloyal community who clearly could give a shit about supporting local commerce. And we truly mean this from the bottom of our hearts: Thanks for nothing, assholes.” The poster is considered to be the local business community’s sincerest farewell to the public since the Fox Road Blockbuster Video hung its famous “Enjoy Your Fucking Netflix” banner in 2011.

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Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

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