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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Golden Tate Claims He Caught Final Hail Mary In Falcons Game

ATLANTA—Following the Seahawks' playoff loss to the Falcons, Seattle wide receiver Golden Tate reportedly insisted Sunday that he caught Russell Wilson’s 48-yard desperation pass as time expired, claiming that the play should have been ruled a touchdown. “I had possession at the end. I absolutely did. I got in there under Julio Jones, I fought for the ball the whole way, and I came down with it,” said Tate, adding that after briefly conferring at the back of the end zone, the referees “made the wrong call.” “It’s hard to tell because there’s no perfect camera angle on the replay, but if you were there and you saw it up close, I clearly caught that ball. It was a legal catch.” Pressed for further explanation, Tate claimed that while the pass was in the air, he slid inside Julio Jones’s jersey, controlled the ball with two feet down, and then slid back out.

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