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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Golfer Brad Faxon Cracks On Budweiser Hot Seat

BRISTOL, CT—PGA Tour veteran Brad Faxon suffered a near-total loss of composure Tuesday during the filming of SportsCenter's Budweiser Hot Seat segment when anchor Scott Van Pelt fired a flurry of questions at Faxon, the last of which dealt with whether Faxon believes his putting stroke will hold up during the 2006 U.S. Open. "Why? Do you think something is wrong with my putting? Why shouldn't my stroke hold up? Have you been watching me? Why is it so dark in here?" Faxon said while biting his fingernails, sweating profusely, and looking around in an agitated fashion. "I have rights, you know! I'm going to call my fucking attorney, and your ass is going to be fired! All of your asses!" When Van Pelt informed Faxon that he was "now off the Budweiser Hot Seat," a relieved Faxon thanked God and broke down in tears.

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