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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Golf’s Most Prestigious Championships

  • The Open: The oldest of golf majors is believed to have been performed as a druidic fertility ritual
  • The Players: Annual Florida golf championship famous for its 924-hole endurance course
  • Delaware Water Gap Country Club Senior Tournament: This long-standing weekend event boasts an all-you-can-eat buffet with shrimp cocktail and $2 Yuengling pints
  • Ryder Cup: The winner of this biennial tournament between European and American golfers determines which nation will colonize the others until the next competition
  • PGA Championship: You get the gist

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