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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Good Charlotte Recording 10 New Songs To Be Played At Low Volume In P.F. Chang’s

LOS ANGELES—Saying they were excited to take their pop-punk sound in new and barely audible directions, Maryland-based rock band Good Charlotte revealed Wednesday that the group is hard at work on an album that will be played at low volume in P.F. Chang’s restaurants nationwide. “After taking some time off from recording, we’re psyched to be back in the studio laying down 10 new tracks to serve as background noise while customers scan their menus and make light conversation over lettuce wraps with coworkers or visiting parents,” said frontman Joel Madden, noting that the band was aiming for a solid 40-minute album that P. F. Chang’s managers could play on repeat without anyone noticing. “When it’s finished, it’ll be the perfect soundtrack to blend in to the overall drone of clanging forks and chopsticks and the din of other tables’ conversations. We’ve already recorded a couple great songs that we’re excited for diners to not even consciously hear except for the roughly 50 seconds while they’re in the bathroom, where the sound system is a little more clear and audible.” Madden added that if the album is received well, he could definitely see the band softly playing in some larger eating venues in the future.

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