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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Good-Citizenship Tips

Though some take it for granted, U.S. citizenship comes with certain responsibilities.
Here are some tips for being an active, involved citizen:

A good citizen waves a hand-size flag.


  • Pay close attention to politicians' speeches so you can stay abreast of where their speechwriters stand on key issues.
  • Young people should heed their civic duty and rock the vote. Older Americans are advised to smooth-jazz the vote.
  • Engage others in tense, unproductive political arguments that break down into embarrassing exchanges of personal attacks.
  • Make an effort to pay at least 50 percent of any taxes you owe.
  • It is considered customary to bribe town/county officials with $500, state officials with $1,000 to $10,000, and federal officials with $50,000 or more.
  • Visiting your state capitol is a fun and exciting way to get out of school for the day.
  • Canvassing door-to-door is an incredibly effective, not-at-all-tedious means of effecting change that will not make you want to chew your leg off.
  • Start up a "Put The Dump Where The Poor People Are" movement in your community.
  • Waste enormous amounts of your and others' time by speaking out at city-council meetings that drag on for hours.
  • Though you may not agree with a particular candidate's views, you can express your opposition by setting his or her house on fire.
  • If you live in Vermont, stop writing in Ben & Jerry on election ballots. It's been done a million times and is not funny.
  • Whatever your petition is for, just say it's for retarded kids. Everybody loves retarded kids.
  • Learn about your community's zoning laws by opening a sex shop on your front lawn.
  • Make an effort to "follow" politics, much the way you would follow, say, sports or the career of Cher.
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