Goodell: 'I'd Definitely Let My Son Ruin Football'

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Vol 49 Issue 06

Tips For A Romantic Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Here are some tips for putting together the perfect romantic evening with your loved one: Make his favorite home-cooked meal and leave a trail of it leading to the bed. If you forgot to buy her flowers, ...

Song Crafted In The Deepest Pit Of Hell Wins Big At Grammys

LOS ANGELES—A song forged by the Ruler of Darkness himself in the blackest bowels of the accursed underworld proved to be the big winner at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards Sunday, taking home an impressive six of the music industry’s top honors, including Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance.

SeaWorld Unveils New 20 Whales Stuffed In Pool Show

A PR firm advises the United States to distance itself from Alabama, the FDA announces peanut butter contains traces of rat feces but life's weird like that sometimes, and a doomed rabbit teaches an 8-year-old about responsibility.
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Goodell: 'I'd Definitely Let My Son Ruin Football'

NEW YORK—In response to accusations that his policies are hurting the game of football, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told CBS’s Face the Nation Sunday that he would have no problem letting his own son ruin the sport. “If my son wanted to make a series of catastrophic rule changes that destroy everything people enjoy about football, there’s no question: Yes, I would let him do that,” said Goodell, who argued that the value of defiling an American tradition far outweighs the risk of public backlash. “I myself have been ruining football for almost seven years, and nothing in my life has been more rewarding. I certainly would want my son to have the same opportunity to mangle and dilute the game that I did.” Goodell added that, unfortunately, his two children are both girls, which means neither can ever be NFL commissioner.

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