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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Goodwill Employees Shaken By Gigantic Pants

LUBBOCK, TX–Goodwill workers Pam Stearns and Lydia Rutt were severely shaken by a pair of mammoth men's pants retrieved from the store's donation bin Monday. "At first, I thought it was some sort of denim tent or tarp," a still-rattled Stearns said. "But then, as Lydia started to unfold it, I slowly began to realize that I was looking at a pair of human pants." The colossal trousers are now on display in the employee break room.

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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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