Google Employees Disappointed 15th Anniversary Party Only Has One Solar-Powered Lego Drag Race Reffed By David Pogue

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 39

Jay Kogen

Caricature artist Jay Kogen went easy on the jowls.

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Four Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week four games: 49ers at Rams OSN’s Lock Of The Week: 49ers — The 49ers will rebound after a pair of tough losses in...

Scientists Recommend Having Earth Put Down

FORT COLLINS, CO—Claiming that it is the humane thing to do, and that the planet is “just going to suffer” if kept alive any longer, members of the world’s scientific community recommended today that Earth be put down. “We re...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Google Employees Disappointed 15th Anniversary Party Only Has One Solar-Powered Lego Drag Race Reffed By David Pogue

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Saying they had been expecting something more, employees at tech giant Google expressed disappointment that today’s festivities celebrating the company’s 15-year anniversary only included one drag race of solar-powered Lego cars officiated by New York Times columnist David Pogue. “Today was definitely a letdown, given all of our expectations,” said Google programmer Cheryl Kendrick, saying that she and fellow coworkers were underwhelmed by the mere three different types of insect robots they were given to battle with, and that the field used to play billiards with giant inflatable balls did not look enough like a pool table and was a bit small. “I was pretty bored, to be honest. I thought they might take us to play laser tag at Alcatraz or do something with the Mythbusters. Even the Godiva fountain ran out after like an hour.” At press time, Google cofounder Sergey Brin was personally apologizing to company employees for not ordering enough visor headsets for the Tron virtual-reality simulation.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More