adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Goose Gossage Admitted Into Hall Of Fame After Correctly Answering Three Baseball History Questions

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Former relief pitcher Rich "Goose" Gossage was admitted into the Baseball Hall of Fame Sunday after correctly answering the requisite three baseball history questions, ranging from "Which major-league player broke the MLB's color barrier?" to "Yankee Stadium was nicknamed 'The House That Ruth Built' in honor of which Yankee slugger?" "I got lucky with this year's questions," said Gossage, who in 2002 came within one correct answer of making it into the Hall of Fame only to incorrectly guess "Rickey Henderson" on his final question. "The first two answers that year were Rickey Henderson, so I just assumed the last one would be, too. They like to play mind games with you, which is why I was hesitant to answer 'Goose Gossage' on the final question this year." Mark McGwire once again failed to make it into Cooperstown after failing to name every major-league player born in Iowa.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close