GOP Asks "Does Obama Love Bo?"

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Vol 47 Issue 07

Trail Blazers Down To One Working Knee

PORTLAND, OR—According to sources close to the injury-plagued Portland Trail Blazers, after a series of knee injuries to center Marcus Camby and All-Star guard Brandon Roy, the team is now officially down to one good knee.

Tim Duncan Urges All-Stars To Use Inside Voice During Game

LOS ANGELES—Saying he understands how excited everyone can get during an All-Star game, Spurs center Tim Duncan made it clear Saturday that since the game is held inside the Staples Center, he expects members of both teams to put their outside voice...

Area Dad Just Wants Computer With The Basics

EDISON, NJ—Wary of paying too much for a new computer loaded with unnecessary bells and whistles, area dad Paul Moyers, 52, announced Friday that he just wants a regular, no-frills PC with only the basics.

Military Releases Drone's Suicide Note

In a shocking turn of events, embattled military drone plane TR425 destroyed itself. Military officials released the following suicide note written by the airplane.

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GOP Asks "Does Obama Love Bo?"

The GOP is contending Obama doesn't actually love his Portuguese Water Dog, Bo. Their claims include:

  • Obama rarely calls Bo good boy or scratches his ears.
  • The president admitted he "doesn't know" which day Bo gets his monthly heartworm preventative.
  • Obama has not clipped Bo's nail's once. The duty falls to others in White House staff.
  • Bo is often left to sleep in hallway while president receives his Daily Briefing.
  • Last year, Obama failed to step up and defend Bo when an internet user called dog "stupid looking."
  • Obama has not once taken his dog to visit the troops.
  • The president has only been photographed with Bo once in the past week.
  • Obama has never proven he knows how to throw a frisbee.
  • White House sources contend Obama does not even own Snausages.

Full coverage, including record-pacing opinions from the First Responders, Friday at 10/9c, on IFC TV.

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