adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

GOP Voters: 'Can We See What It Looks Like With Huntsman And Perry Again?'

WASHINGTON—Claiming something "just seemed off" with the combination of candidates currently seeking the Republican Party's nomination for president, voters asked Tuesday if they could see once more what the GOP field would look like with Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry back in the race. "Could you just show me Huntsman next to Santorum again, and maybe Perry in there, too, trailing just a bit behind Romney? Not too close, though," said Cleveland-based voter Alan Sanders, squinting as he contemplated the grouping of presidential hopefuls. "No, that's still not quite right. What if we try Pawlenty, Paul, Bachmann, and Gingrich—in that order. Ugh, never mind, that just looks weird. Maybe take Romney out and put Herman Cain back in? That might work." At press time, the nation's Republican voters were asking to see Sarah Palin in there, too, just for fun.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close