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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Gore Begins Training For 2004 Election In Remote Mountain Cabin

MCCALL, ID—Determined to rebound from his 2000 election defeat, Al Gore has sequestered himself in a remote mountain cabin to train for his 2004 rematch with George W. Bush. "Gotta get in shape," said Gore, running up a hill with a log strapped to his back. "Gonna beat him this time." Gore, who is almost back down to his campaigning weight of 245, then worked on his debate reflexes by chasing chickens around a pen.

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