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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Governor Approves 24-Hour Waiting Period For Women Voters

MADISON, WI—In a long-awaited follow-up to the 24-hour hold on women’s checks, Gov. Tommy Thompson signed a bill yesterday requiring a 24-hour waiting period for women vo-ters. According to the bill, women will come to their polling location and receive counseling and ad-vice concerning their political selections, and will be shown pictures of both candidates to help them decide for whom they want to vote. Thompson stressed that not only do women have a “right to know,” but also that “by having to make two trips to the polls, they will be less likely to make the foolish mistakes their sex is often prone to make.” The Wisconsin Chapter of the National Orga-nization for Women pro-tested the bill with a rally outside the Capitol, claim-ing that the new measure prevents wo-men from voting, as they would be returning to the polls the day after the election. Thompson was unavailable for comment, but John Haines, his press secretary, dismissed the allegations as an emotional over-reaction typical of women. He added that the ad-ministration is looking in-to a 24-hour waiting period for ral-lies by wo-men’s groups to make sure they understand all the facts before protesting. “Per-haps, once again, pictures could be used to assist the women in their decision-making pro-cess,” Haines said.

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