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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Grandfather's Advice Pretty Bad For Someone Who's Lived That Long

NORTH AUGUSTA, SC—According to household sources, the Sederquest family was astounded by the glut of terrible advice offered Sunday by grandfather Bill Sederquest, with several younger members marveling at the fact that someone who has been alive since 1937 could have so little wisdom to offer. "He kept telling me I didn't have to be in love to get married, saying that as soon as I settled down with a woman and started having kids, I'd just get used to it," said 17-year-old grandson Cody, whose grandfather also told him it was important to drive everywhere, as it would show people he was able to afford a nice car and gasoline. "I know I'm supposed to be respectful, but I have no idea how to respond when he tells me that if a guy's giving me trouble, I should punch him in the back of the head when he's not looking." Family members said they were also dismayed to learn that grandmother Eileen plans to pass her awful recipes down to the next generation.

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