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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Grandmother Will Live On In Arguments Over Her Wedding China

WAUKESHA, WI—Although Sophia Burnhardt, matriarch of the extended Burnhardt clan, died last week, family sources confirmed that her memory will live on for years in arguments over her wedding china. "That Wedgwood tureen should come to me, since I would always help her with her taxes," Burnhardt's daughter-in-law Lois Burnhardt said at the memorial service Monday. "She loved her tea service, too," added Burnhardt's daughter Carol Harrigen, "which should stay within my family, since we visited her in Arizona when no one else would." A family spokesperson announced in a Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel remembrance note that Burnhardt would never truly die as long as her china maintained its luster.

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