adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Grandmother Will Live On In Arguments Over Her Wedding China

WAUKESHA, WI—Although Sophia Burnhardt, matriarch of the extended Burnhardt clan, died last week, family sources confirmed that her memory will live on for years in arguments over her wedding china. "That Wedgwood tureen should come to me, since I would always help her with her taxes," Burnhardt's daughter-in-law Lois Burnhardt said at the memorial service Monday. "She loved her tea service, too," added Burnhardt's daughter Carol Harrigen, "which should stay within my family, since we visited her in Arizona when no one else would." A family spokesperson announced in a Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel remembrance note that Burnhardt would never truly die as long as her china maintained its luster.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings