adBlockCheck

Granta Derided By Philistines

Top Headlines

Recent News

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Granta Derided By Philistines

CHAPEL HILL, NC—Granta, the award-winning quarterly literary magazine that features the finest in fiction, non-fiction, memoirs, interviews, essays and reportage, was derided Monday by a group of ignorant, uncultured philistines. "I was sitting in a local sub shop, enjoying a devastatingly witty Saul Bellow piece in the latest Granta, when I distinctly heard three philistines at the next table mocking my choice of reading material," said University of North Carolina graduate student Ira Green. "Apparently, there's something about engrossing, top-notch writing that these three primitives find amusing."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close