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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Grantland Game Recap Completely Omits Influence Of ‘NYPD Blue’ On Modern Ensemble Dramas

LOS ANGELES—Calling the exclusion “an embarrassing oversight,” visitors to Grantland today criticized the online sports publication for its notably deficient recap of a recent matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Dallas Mavericks, complaining that the write-up completely omits any mention of NYPD Blue’s enormous influence on the modern ensemble drama format. “Were they even watching the same game?” Grantland reader Jeremy Cortina said of the site’s incomplete recap of last night’s Lakers-Mavericks contest, which failed to make even one reference to the ABC police procedural’s immense impact on such essentials of the canon as The Shield and The Wire. “I went into that article looking for the basics—how NYPD Blue foreshadowed creator David Milch’s later work on Deadwood, instances in which modern ensemble casts have liberally borrowed from the classic on-camera rapport displayed between leads Jimmy Smits and Dennis Franz, and how this gritty crime drama reflected the uncertainties of the Clinton administration. But it’s just a bunch of trivial stuff about stats and injuries, which team won the game, and the David O. Russell film American Hustle. Do they actually think we care about this junk?” Cortina added that he hadn’t been so disappointed in a Grantland article since its recent retrospective of Jackie Robinson’s impact on race relations in baseball failed to attempt even a passing analysis of The Cure’s Disintegration.

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