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Great, Now It's Turned Into A Whole Big Thing

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Great, Now It's Turned Into A Whole Big Thing

BOSTON—Reiterating that this wasn't supposed to be a whole big thing, and that they still can't believe this, sources confirmed today that it has now turned into a huge deal. "Oh, great, this is just perfect," sources said, adding that this definitely could have been avoided and people certainly aren't helping by making more of it than it actually is. "Here we go again. Seriously, can we not?" At press time, sources had decided we can just talk about it later.

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