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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Greenspan Considering Role In Ocean's Eleven Remake

WASHINGTON, DC–Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan confirmed Monday that he is considering a role in the upcoming remake of the 1960 Rat Pack heist caper Ocean's Eleven. "Tell [director Steven] Soderbergh I get the Dean Martin part, or he can take a flying hike," Greenspan, already in character, was overheard telling his manager at the posh D.C. eatery La Gondola. "I'm not canceling three weeks at Caesar's for the Lawford part. I can act rings around that fairy boy Brad Pitt and still satisfy five dames before his pants are off. Bada bing."

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