From the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.
LOS ANGELESGreg Behrendt, the co-author of the bestsellers He's Just Not That Into You and It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken, has written a book targeted at younger readers, which will be released by Simon & Schuster next week. "In Your Parents Aren't That Into You, I train my funky wit and refreshing frankness on a very difficult time of childhoodthe moment when kids realize they're just accessories, tax write-offs, or even mistakes," Behrendt said. "After all, the collapse of the child-parent relationship sets the tone for those to come." Your Parents Aren't That Into You, which features illustrations by Gary Panter, will also be available in an abridged stocking-stuffer size in time for Christmas.