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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Greg Schiano Leaves Spotlight Of Rutgers Football For Low-Profile Buccaneers Job

TAMPA, FL—New Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Greg Schiano explained to reporters Friday his decision to leave Rutgers, saying the mid-Florida football team offered his family the privacy and anonymity he missed during his years in the Rutgers spotlight. "I realize many people can't understand why I would leave that big-time media market to come down here, but I want to step back and live a normal life again," said Schiano, under whose leadership Rutgers went 28-48 in the Big East and was even ranked in the top 25 one year. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the pressures of coaching in the 2008 PapaJohns.com Bowl, but it will be nice to work in a place where I won't have those high expectations on me all the time." Schiano led Rutgers to six bowls in 11 seasons, whereas the Buccaneers have made it to only one bowl game in their entire history.

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